Dear Blog

I am OVER THIS SHIT

I hate..

PHYSICS

its a fucking mother fuck.
and the bad thing is... I need to for next year. FML
I hate my teacher.
She knows what shes talking about, but can't regergitate it out to students. She also expects us to know everything she taught 5 min ago and use it in context. YOU THINK WE CAN PROCESS DATA THAT FAST? FUCK OFF. She tells us," your incompentant". Well NO SHIT WE ARE. You don't give us enough infomation and expect us to know the answer in 2 secs.

Physics teachers at riccarton high school are shit.
If you don't get it, you don't get it cause they expect you to know it already

dazed

I have high expectations, and i'm told not to settle for less, or you'll end up with a bum. But if you do have high expectations then you might not find someone at all. Why is it never easy?

I don't know where to turn and have no one to go to. This is the shittest i've felt in so long. The lonliness in the inside is eating me. I have no idea what he has in mind. But for some reason I know it's not going to be good. I also know I'm going to inevitably hurt myself by waiting. I know he's going to find someone new. I know it. I still love him... and it can't go away.
It hurts to know you love someone but they dlon't feel the same.

It is a good time to move away and experience different cultures and life. I want to escape my memories and my problems. I wish I was care free.

Mood. explosion

yeah im like a bomb.
You dont know when im gonna im gonna go off
and you know its gonna be catastophic.

Its going to happen again soon.
I can feel it.
the time is ticking down.

I write here for myself.
its my diary.

right now i cant pick myself up.
all i want is to get away from everything

Hate

There aren't many things i hate.
01. People with no morals or self respect
02. People who associate themselves around drugs
03. Animal abuse
04. poverty

I hate drugs end of story. There will be no beginning for me.
I don't care what people say. When I'm moving to Welly, nothings gonna happen.
I'm strong minded, I don't cave into peer pressure. I love the city, but hate the weather.
Presummably why wellingtonians do shit to make themselves happy. lolz


I think its the time of year where I'm most shitty and grumpy.
I honestly don't want to be like this.
Think I needa run

In peace

Leave me alone.
I'm fine, I'm ok.
I'm alright when you dont talk to me. When you do you make me visibly,
upset, angry, annoyed.

This is my way of doing things.
No more chances
All opportunities have been missed.

I think it's finally over it some sense. He had not much to say to me. I mean he dropped me, not the other way around. I may of said shit, but that was the way i felt then, hurt and hate. I need closure. I can't be friends til i'm ready and I dont think I'll be ready anytime soon. I've already lost him, I cant lose him anymore by no talking. He's lost me completely by not being with me. Whats the point if you're going to take me back in a year. Distance shouldn't keep 2 people in love apart. I've said everything. Now its his turn to make things up.

I have cared too much that I don't care.
I'm not getting anything out of this but being hurt.
I swear love hates me, it's punishing me right now.